This is termed gaslighting. If she's recently done something particularly egregious she may engage in preventative lying: The narcissist, the spider in the middle of the family web, sensitively monitors all the children for information she can use to retain her unchallenged control over the family. I observed the behaviour you describe in my mother in law for years. As a last resort she goes pathetic. She may look to fill it in other relationships, but often the pattern of emotional unavailability is repeated. Young children of a parent who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder are genuine victims of their parent and the disorder—as much as any child who lives through life with an addicted parent, or a parent guilty of physical or sexual abuse. Your mother sounds like mine- always ruining everything I have. And then she retaliates with verbal abuse. They often act seductively with men and may have had multiple marriages. I have decided she is non violent sadist as well.
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